Monday, January 29, 2018

Another Super Bowl? No, just slightly above average.

This may come across as completely un-American. Foolish, senile, or even worse, slightly effeminate. I don't really care about the Super Bowl. It isn't that my team didn't make it and I am bitter. I just don't care. If they could both lose I would be happy.

I don't really care about the commercials, either. That may sound almost heretical considering the fanaticism some people have for the expensive little programs that have been months in the planning. And whose secrecy would be the envy of almost every government in the world. I live in fear that I may see one played during the following days morning news and will be forced into a discussion.

"Hey, did you see that potato chip commercial with the dancing bears and arm wrestling onion dip containers with the huge biceps?"

"Yes, damnit, I saw it. You bastard. I saw it and it was the longest thirty seconds of the past year. Thanks for rubbing my face in it. How's the wife and kids?" Work relationships are so complicated.

It isn't the money, though it seems a little foolish the amount of money spent this weekend. I don't even like to think about the money each team is spending motel rooms, team meals, entertainment. Assuming they actually pay for any of that stuff, people are just lining up to give them things. The money players are making is beyond comprehension, numbers that average people don't understand. But, everybody comes out ahead, right? The host city, the owners, the advertisers, the fans, everybody has a stake.

Except me, I don't care. And, despite not caring it is almost impossible to avoid. It is the event of the season. Pre-game started as soon as the playoffs were over, or maybe as soon as the regular season began, or maybe right after last years super bowl, when one team of highly paid athletes, dressed in coordinated costumes beat another team in a game that I can't really remember. And people all over the country celebrated in reserved silence, not really it was probably an impressive display of consumption and excess.

It has become an event that is so freighted, so talked about, so pompous, the reality can never meet the expectations. The talk is more important than the game, the announcers and the pregame dissection reduce the play to an afterthought.

Fortunately, this year my son is going to a friend's house to watch the game, so I can avoid it, and the commercials, and the endless analysis and second guessing. So, to the Eagles, who my son is rooting for, and the Patriots, who have become the team to despise, or love, depending on your affiliation and loyalties, and all the fans, advertisers, hoteliers, restaurateurs, and anyone who cares best of luck, enjoy the game, just keep it down, some of us are trying to relax.