Monday, March 16, 2015

Down With the Sickness - My Pro Wrestling Career Explained

Why do we do this to ourselves the less than enthusiastic health enthusiast would say as they start a routine? I on the other hand was blessed with the knowledge that I was sick of being little and shaped like an Ethiopian when I started. It was the fact that I am so far removed from that now, that I have to go to other solutions to keep myself energetic about going to the gym and working out. Yes in principal the gym is my second home and I can’t think straight on the days in which I don’t get a really good workout in first thing in the morning, but there are other motivating factors as well.

To the uninspired it is hard to explain the fantasy level that goes along with a good physique. I often quip about how I can pose like my favorite super heroes between sets. The fact that Spiderman poses look really cool when you have the body to back it up is one thing, but sometimes my mind wanders into Professional Wrestling territory, especially when I am doing a lot of walking between sets. The long walk around the gym and the runway that forms at the end of the walk (highlighted in the picture to the left) gives me all the time I need to spark my entrance music and just picture how horrified the actor, um, I mean wrestler at the other end is to see me.

Yeah I just had to place the video in there so that you could get the feel of my entry music and the scary factor that it inspires. Well in my mind it all plays out anyway. My signature moves, my finishing move, and of course I am going to have face paint. Nothing says “crazy asshole” like face paint. You can pick those bastards out at the college football, or a Raiders game and you know I’m right. Well actually I better work on my legs a little more because they definitely aren’t tight worthy yet, but I got the guns. Probably going to have to use electrical tape to make them look more fierce. The only thing I really have to worry about is my 45 year old joints and bones, but heh? My fans await!