Friday, February 27, 2015

More About Sports Jeremy Just Doesn't Get

We were all sitting in the conference room waiting for a meeting, and discussing the Celtics game from the night before. Now that Isaiah Thomas (the son duh) was on the Celtics there was a buzz to discuss. The Celtics of course are NOT world beaters, but when you are an honest fan you pay attention to the team, and you discuss the good and the bad and over the last couple of years, the ugly. Despite what people think about us chest thumpers up here, we've known losers too.

Well in walks one of the guys involved in the meeting and throws the question out there, “Did anyone see the golf tournament this weekend?” which stopped the conversation dead in its tracks. You really couldn't have made up a better script for a comedy, as after the awkward silence 8 guys and 2 gals started busting up laughing at him. Many comments that were funnier than just “no” were thrown at him, and then we all got back to real discussion.

I don’t get golf really. I mean I play golf when I can. I’m a really good person to have on best ball tourney or something like that because I can consistently get a 250 to 300 yard drive with decent accuracy; I just become someone that the old ladies threaten if you don’t let them play through after that. I don’t drink, so golf loses the charm that most of my co-workers find in it. Aside from that I just can’t see someone sitting down and actually watching it. Of course there are an awful lot of people that do enjoy this, and I guess I don’t get them either.

Now I am a real sports fan too. I don’t watch as much sports as I used to because I have other things to do, but you could sit me in front of almost any sport and I will get into it quickly. Tennis? Love it. Volleyball? An amazingly underrated sport. Curling? I get fascinated by the physics and the science of it. Golf? Eh. It ranks right up there with auto racing to me, and again we are talking about something that millions of people love and I just don’t get it. I have often said it is a sport for rednecks that can’t handle the complicated plot twists of professional wrestling.

George Carlin used to have a routine where he would go about the different sports and proclaim what was and what was not a sport. He would come up with suggestions for how you could make a sport more interesting, usually violent, but definitely a change for the better. Could you imagine how much more interesting Golf would be if the caddy handed a club to the player and then ran off to go catch the ball the golfer drove down the fairway? If he catches it then the drive counts, if he doesn't then you have to keep doing it again until he does. That would shut those old ladies up when they bitch about how long it takes me to play a hole wouldn't it?